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Science Connection Member Polylogue, part 7


First date suggestions
The perils of first impressions
Long-distance relationships
Separated marital status
Book recommendation
Priorities: career vs. relationship
Relationship among equals


First impressions   We include three compelling comments lamenting the tendency to rule out people too quickly by trying to make an immediate assessment of them as potential mates.

Long-distance relationships   Many members have remarked that they find a long-distance relationship too difficult to maintain or develop. We have included a sample of comments from members who are very happy with the long-distance relationship that they started and who urge other members not to rule out distant members. In the middle ground, one member points out that whether long distance relationships are a reasonable option depends on people's priorities and how important a serious relationship is in relation to other important aspects of their lives. One member recounts how much she enjoyed meeting fellow members during her travels.

Separated marital status A few members have questioned whether it is appropriate to allow separated people to join Science Connection, feeling that their marriage is not over until divorced or that recently separated members are not yet ready to develop a serious relationship. However, we consider lesser goals than developing a serious relationship a valid basis for membership. And various members have pointed out that people with separated marital status may have ended their marital relationship years earlier, yet for valid reasons, postponed divorce. One member explains why it may be justified to be wary of recently separated people.

Career vs. relationship   Members sometimes comment that other members seem too wrapped up in their career to alott the necessary time to develop a relationship. Others respond that being very busy is often an unavoidable fact of life these days, but that it is still possible to work things out to allow time to get to know someone. One member questions whether there is a gender bias in attitudes toward the career of a potential spouse, in which the woman's career is viewed as expendable or less important.

Relationship among equals?   A very interesting discussion started when a female member commented that "a few Science Connection members and many intellectually inclined men" are more interested in having "a woman who listens while he pontificates" on various subjects rather than one who participates in discussions. A male member responded that this is because people want their spouse to be supportive rather than argumentative. We include two counter-arguments to that, one clarifying and supporting the original comment and one that extolls and analyzes the benefits of an intellectual partnership within a supportive relationship.
First date suggestions

The perils of first impressions TOP
Long-distance relationships TOP
Separated marital status TOP
Book recommendation seconded TOP
Priorities: career vs. relationship TOP
Relationship among equals?

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